Like a generic Christmas movie where the plot is staler than a shop-bought panettone, Pandemic Christmas 2: Numb Noel rolls around in less than six weeks. As I write, Germany has recorded 50,000 new Covid cases, the UK has recorded 42,000 cases, planned Christmas markets in Leeds and Glasgow have been cancelled and experts in the Netherlands are recommending a lockdown.
Actually, maybe obsessively watching Christmas movies isn’t a bad survival tactic for the Yule bunker. The repetition is cosily familiar and yet, unlike a pandemic, the resolution is swift and satisfying. All the actors wear green and red chunky jumpers and striped scarves with adorable wool hats, labour under the hard lighting of a cheap daytime soap opera and carry a strong whiff of many years in the soft porn industry, regardless of the wholesome narrative they’re performing.
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